Siamese twins walk into a bar and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Mano. Two Budweiser's, draft please."
 
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet this year guys?"
 
"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Mano?" Mano agrees.
 
"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."
 
"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Bud's, that's us, eh Mano? And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."
 
"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.
 
"It's the only chance Mano gets to drive."

TGIF LOUNGE HOUNDZ!!!!

Goggles on.


Line-'em up Duff TD's buying today


(_)>============

This statement makes you sound like a real POS Riff-Raff. It was his son man! Every parent would favor the best interest of their child's health.

Granted the Browns blew it by putting McCoy back in the game . whats more disturbing is if Holmgren told them to . there are what like 900 former players now filing law suits against the league ? if this keeps up it will end up being the flag football league . they have already took away the big hits and now there is talk of eliminating the kick off ? when you play the game it comes with risks .

i do fault Colts dad for getting involved . if your going to question them why not do it one on one instead of blasting them throufgh the media ? that was un called for . McCoys fate was already pretty much sealed before that happened with his crappy play .

what are you going to do when your kid screws up at his or her work ? run into the office screaming at there boss . he is 22 years old . time to stand on his own .

i have been called worse over the years . i didnt care then and i sure as hell dont care now .

 

Good one Lyman



tis Friday Friday Friday ..eat drink be merry the weekend is here  


Cinco De Mayo day is tomorrow . just another reason to have a party . is anybody Mexican ? no matter still a good reason to have a Spring Fling .

Crex .. The Outlaws are at Eldora this weekend . we are heading  that way Sat Night for the 410 900 HP Winged Beasts . they hit 160 over there heading into the high banked corners with little to no lift . off of turn two things tighten up and get a little crazy . its one of the fastest if not the fastest track tehy race on . the UMP Modifieds are also on  the card .  


whatever you do have fun & be safe this weekend  !

The Browns won’t have their rookies in for a minicamp for another week, but quarterback Brandon Weeden isn’t letting his distance from the team keep him from thinking about the year to come.

Weeden repeated what he said before the draft about how being 28 makes him more mature than other players and Weeden thinks that will help him transition to the NFL. While Weeden never went so far as laying claim to the starting quarterback job, he did say that he’s up to the task.

“I feel like I’m ready,” Weeden said, via Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “I have a long way to go, but I feel like I’ve taken the right steps to get to where I can play at that level. If I’m asked to be the guy day one, I’m going to do everything on my part to put our team in position to win games and score points. I’m really anxious to get going and the season will be here before you know it.”

The Browns haven’t given much indication about how playing time will shake out when the whole team gathers for work, but they didn’t use a first round pick on Weeden so that he could carry a clipboard. Whether it is because of Weeden’s ability, Colt McCoy’s father or some other combination of factors, Weeden’s going to be starting for the Browns sooner rather than later.

The Browns were awarded punter Spencer Lanning off waivers from Jacksonville.

The Cleveland Browns were awarded punter Spencer Lanning off waivers from Jacksonville.

Originally signed as an undrafted free agent by the Chicago Bears on July 26, 2011, Lanning was waived by the Bears on September 2, 2011. He signed with the Jaguars on January 14, 2012.

He was a four-year letterman at the University of South Carolina (2007-10) who finished his career with 171 punts for a 42.6-yard average and 46 punts inside the 20-yard line. He also served as kicker during his final two collegiate seasons, connecting on 34 of 44 field goal attempts and 80 of 84 PATs.

A native of Rock Hill, South Carolina, the 5-11, 200-pound Lanning attended York High School in South Carolina. He was born May 21, 1988.


WOW A Free agent signing by Heckert

1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

---

Facts Of Life

1. Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your ass and open the door.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
6. Bad decisions make good stories.
7. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
8. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection...again.
9. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?  Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
10. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
11. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
12. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
13. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
17. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
18. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
19. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
20. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Don't Trust Rich People - No Matter How Nice They Seem

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high

Two men are traveling through Alabama on a road trip when they get pulled over. The cop walks up to the drivers window, and motions for the man to roll down his window. As soon as the driver rolls the window down the cop slaps him across the face...

The Driver asks "What was the for?!?!"

The Cop replies "Here in the great state of Alabama, people know to have their window rolled down by the time I get to the car!"

The Driver apologizes saying he didn't know because he wasn't from around here.

The Cop quickly slaps him again, the Driver again asks what THAT was for, the Cop Responds matter of factly "Here in the great state of Alabama, people know that by the time I get to the car, they should already have their driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance out and ready by they time I get to the car!"

The Driver quickly apologizes again and begins his search for everything.... As he hurries to find all of the documents he needs, the cop then walks around to the passenger side, the passenger noticing this quickly rolls his window down, as soon as the cop get around the car, he slaps the passenger across the face..

The Passenger asks "What the hell was that for?!?!"

The Cop replies "Just granting your wish Sir"

The Passenger replies "My wish? What wish?"

The Cop answers" Yep, your wish, I know about a mile down the road, you're going to look at your buddy and say 'I wish that A-hole woulda tried that crap with me!'"

Good one JYD



WOOF WOOF WOOF !!!!!!!


Good thing he didnt slap me

www.bitterorangeandbrown.com/2...r-
seen.html?m=1


what the hell is wrong with people ? bad parenting maybe or just inbred parenting

One of the grievances filed by the NFLPA attaches as exhibits the four letters sent by Commissioner Roger Goodell to the individual players who have been suspended.

The letter to former Saints linebacker Scott Fujita makes clear that he is accused only of pledging a “significant amount of money” to the broader pay-for-performance/bounty pool.  The pool paid out money both for big plays and “cart-offs” and “knockouts.”

While Goodell’s letter to Fujita states that the pool “paid large cash rewards for ‘cart-offs’ and ‘knockouts,’” the NFL still has produced no specific evidence that anyone received any payment for players being carted off and/or knocked out of games.  (That’s possibly because the only player carted off of any Saints game from 2009 through 2011 was Saints running back Reggie Bush, who broke a leg against the 49ers in 2010.)  Absent such evidence, Fujita merely contributed to a pool of money that was paid out to players who intercepted passes, forced fumbles, etc.

If that’s the case, Fujita’s three-game suspension seems a little excessive, especially without specific evidence of the “significant amount” of money he supposedly contributed.

TONY STEWART ADJUSTS COMPETITION SCHEDULE TO TACKLE OUTLAWS AT ELDORA

Track Owner and Reigning NASCAR Cup Series Champion Has Goal to Beat WoO Teams on his Home Turf

ROSSBURG, Ohio (May 4) – Tony Stewart’s accomplishments at Eldora Speedway are impressive, but his goals are not complete. The reigning and three-time NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion and current owner of Eldora Speedway has entered Eldora’s fabled Victory Lane as a winner in Late Models, Winged Sprint Cars, Non-Winged Sprint Cars, a Modified, a Midget and three times in the charity driven Prelude to the Dream – but never in a World of Outlaws (WoO) Sprint Car sanctioned event.

With the travelling WoO at Eldora for the Outlaw Thunder by Goodyear this weekend, Stewart has adjusted his busy competition schedule to make every possible effort to fly into Rossburg, Ohio both nights with the goal of not only challenging, but beating the WoO stars and other invaders in their own game.

Only one of two things could possibly deter Stewart from getting into Ohio – a delay in the NASCAR schedule at Talladega or flight issues due to weather.

Other than that Stewart is ‘game-on’ and ready to return to his passion of grassroots racing.

His competition is formidable with the WoO in the midst of an intense point battle that include two Stewart owned teams (Donny Schatz and Steve Kinser) in the top five. Sammy Swindell carries a seven point margin to lead the series into the Goodyear sponsored weekend.

Joining Stewart as challengers against the touring WoO teams will be the likes of Tim Shaffer, Dale Blaney, Stevie Smith, Jac Haudenschild and Paul McMahan with two complete nights of racing slated for the .500 mile clay oval each evening.

A doubleheader program each night will feature the Eldora Stock Cars on Friday and the UMP DIRTcar Modifieds on Saturday, as those two divisions continue their points chase and earn a position in the Feed The Children Prelude to the Dream invitational on June 6.

Tickets for the Outlaw Thunder by Goodyear, the Kings Royal weekend, and all other Eldora events are available through the track office at (937) 338-3815 or online 24 hours a day at www.EldoraSpeedway.com. Like us at www.Facebook.com/EldoraSpeedway or catch all the behind-the-scenes preparation for the event on Twitter @EldoraSpeedway.


Hangs sign on door ..Gone Racing !!!!

draft pick numbers:
Richardson 33
Weeden 3
Schwartz 72
Hughes 93
Benjamin 80
Johnson 50
Miller 63
Acho 59
Winn 79
Wade 26
Smelley 47


now get them signed

Glad to see Travis Benjamin will wear #80...I may have to bust out the old Andre Rison jersey!  (lol!  yeah, sadly....it's true)

I know this much, Brian Robiskie never made me think of rejuvinating the #80.....

draft pick numbers:
Richardson 33
Weeden 3
Schwartz 72
Hughes 93
Benjamin 80
Johnson 50
Miller 63
Acho 59
Winn 79
Wade 26
Smelley 47

Now people who bought an Anderson jersey's can repurpose them by taping "Weeden" over the name ;)

I doubt the last 3 on the list will even make the team. I really hope the Weeden/Benjamin tandum pays off. I'm so freaking over mediocrity with our QB/WR tandums. Here I thought Frye/Edwards would be a tandum for years to come back in '05. D'oh!